Saturday, June 20, 2009

Some days... are a struggle.

I have ten more days to be a Texan.

Yesterday, my cake pans and chocolate molds went into boxes. My last Texas cake orders were picked up yesterday, too. Today, the last of Grandma's china is going into boxes, as most likely are my stand mixers and cake supplies.

And today, we said goodbye to yet more friends we may never see again in person...

Lately, I've been doing okay with the packing and moving and goodbyes and the stress that comes with all of that. A bit testy, perhaps; a bit frazzled, most definitely. And today, I'm teary.

Seeing the area where I live as if I've never been here before, trying to see if there is some special part of it that I should have experienced or at least made more note of is making me melancholy, I suppose. And looking at the faces of my friends as if it might be the last time is fairly breaking my heart. Trying to memorize without staring, trying to soak up while still appearing to be casual...

The tears running down my cheeks are silent begs for you to come visit us, okay?


  1. Oh Deanna, I can only imagine what you are going thru! My heart definitely goes out to you! But you have an incredible journey to look forward to! And i'm already trying to figure a way to come see you!
    Just know that we all love you guys very much! And we'll be coming to visit before you know it!
    love, Carla

  2. [sniff] I'll visit you, Honey. Oh, wait. Well, yes, that means I'll definitely visit you. [sniff]

  3. Thanks, Jim. I can't tell you what that means to me.....

  4. Jim better bring his own YURT! No, I'm never going to drop the Yurt thing, sorry. It amuses me. Doesn't take much, does it?

    Deanna, try to look at the stress times as facing a very steep staircase. You know what is at the top but you can't see it clearly right now. each step towards it is a pull, a struggle, a small exhaustion. You rest, you "gear up" to take another few steps, you want to turn around and go back down a few, you jump up several at a time and can almost see clear but then the weight of change feels a bit heavier and you almost need a push up to the next step. Goodness, it is a HUGE undertaking.
    But remember, each one of those steps is a friend, a memory and solid foundation that supports you as you move towards the newness at the top. I am happy for you that you have such a strong base to stand on. No one can ever take that away from your heart.
    You have wings to fly!

  5. And if that didn't help then
    JUST think of your Christmas Card List Now!!!!
    YeeHaaaaa! ha ha

    (I'm a good help, ain't I?)